Next Step

    So, I leave this Saturday for my new internship. I was wrong, it is only a 3 month internship, the start date was later than I had originally understood which has consequently left me with a bit more (un-employed) time on my hands than I expected. Not only was I un-employed but my dad was as well and PRAISE THE LORD, he got a new job at the very end of last week. It was crazy, they literally called him at 4:56 pm and it was awesome! God has been so good to my family through this ordeal and I got to spend more time with my dad than I think I ever have in my whole life. And I got to babysit the two most awesome little people in the world Stella and Gunnar, my cousins Kelsey and Hauna's gorgeous kiddos. I do not know if I could love them any more, they are so precious to me.

Gunnar being awesome, eating dirt. 

I have also been keeping myself busy with a few, ok a lot, of projects. my recent kick has been baking, I have been baking up a storm, it has not been good for my waist line but my stomach is happy :). I have also been crafting away. In the past, people have joked about my mom and I that we do everything except cobble our own shoes, well...  I kinda made shoes. I'm not saying they are perfect by any means, but they are wearable and I think they are pretty cute and quite admirable for a first attempt.

Stella with her "callies" aka coloring.

I also made a dress for myself by salvaging the skirt off a dress that didn't fit any more and building a new bodice for it made from old jeans, and I used the old bodice to make a dress for Stella which totally doesn't fit, that's what I get for not using any kind of size reference. But maybe it won't be a total loss because Hauna and Nathan are expecting baby #2, gender TBA. WOOT!

I've made a couple other things, done some alterations on some clothes, seriously done a lot of baking and cooking, but it hasn't all been for fun. I undertook most of these projects to improve on skills that may come in handy at my internship, sewing, leather working, baking, sculpting, paper mache are all important skills for a props artisan.

I don't know what all this internship will entail, I don't know how much I will be working, I don't know who I will be working with, all I know for certain is that God opened the door for a reason and my real job is to walk through it and trust that he has something special planned for me. 

Commit everything to the LoRD. Trust him and he will help you.

Psalm 37:5

Step 1. Get the Job

CHECK.
Well, it's not really a job, it's an internship -BUT- it is an internship with a pretty decent stipend and that is pretty darn close to a real grown up job.

The Pacific Conservatory of the Performing Arts has offered me a four month internship, which is a fantastic opportunity for me. But, it also requires me to move to Santa Maria for four months, where I will probably be renting a room and having to actually be entirely accountable for myself for the first time in my life. BIG STEPS HERE PEOPLE! I'm a little petrified, and I think that is why I'm not more excited about it. I'm afraid I won't have the skills I need and all these little things, but the reality is that I'm not supposed to be perfect, I'm just supposed to be willing to learn that is why it is an internship!

So, now I have a little over a month left at home and I am resolved to enjoy it and all the people that I will miss like crazy while I'm gone. Who knows where this will lead, maybe I will get another job (or maybe the Steppenwolf Apprenticeship...) and I won't be back. This is an exciting and terrifying time of growth and change, I'm thinking it's time to lean harder on God than ever before.

Just around the river bend

I wish that I had the excitement and enthusiasm that Pocahontas quote brings to mind, but quite frankly I don't. My internship has been done for almost 3 weeks now and I'm back at home, my work at Moonlight is done and I am without occupation. I have these glimmers of hope on the horizon, but none of them is anything certain. I had an awesome interview at the La Jolla Playhouse the week after my internship ended, but unfortunately they know they won't have anything for me at all until at June at best and even then, that is uncertain. I got an email to set up an interview with the Steppenwolf Theatre Company in Chicago for a nine month apprenticeship, but it's not until the 9th and I'm still pretty much in shock to have heard from them at all. I thought I would be able to keep myself content by applying for other production assistant jobs that I had seen listed but they all seem to have been filled (please people, take down the listing if you are no longer hiring). I thought that it would be a nice time to try the whole Etsy thing again but I just can't seem to get any kind of creative juices flowing beyond my Pinterest boards. I feel like I'm in this huge holding pattern filled with maybe's and I am not coping well. I just need one "yes", just a little encouragement that I'm not wasting my time with applications and making trinkets.  I just don't want to have to get a job just for the sake of having a job, but quite frankly I would take one of those at this point.
    I'm starting to feel a little crazy, like I imagined it all and I'm not actually going to get anywhere in this industry, but I refuse to believe it. I will continue meditating on Psalms 94:19, ""When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer." and remember what the Cheshire Cat said to Alice.

"Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?"

                  "That depends a good deal on where you want to get to," said the Cat.

"I don’t much care where" said Alice.

"Then it doesn’t matter which way you go," said the Cat."

"-so long as I get SOMEWHERE," Alice added as an explanation.

"Oh, you’re sure to do that," said the Cat, "if you only walk long enough."

Only, this Alice has figured out where she wants to be. Unfortunately, the road is still just as murky and confusing. 

Moving On

So I'm not going to waste my time apologizing for not having written anything in forever, cause at this point we all know that I fail at this. SO ANYHOW... I'm in the last few days of my internship at the Old Globe. I took this internship to see if stage management was a good path for me and I have found that the answer is a resounding "no." I have the utmost respect and appreciation for stage managers, but I am not cut out to be one. I never did learn to whisper, I'm terrible at being quiet, there is a TON of paperwork and nothing very creative. My mantra for this internship became, "Your opinion is irrelevant, your opinion is irrelevant." I can't do that my whole life!
   I don't mean to say that I didn't enjoy this internship, I did. I made a fantastic new friend, my fellow intern Danielle, and without her I think I would have been utterly miserable. There were some other great parts, some wonderful people, and lots to learn, but overall this isn't the path for me. Hence, I have 4 or 5 applications out for different properties internship programs and I will hopefully hear back from some of them soon. If not, I will figure something out but that is what I'm hoping for at the moment. I think that props will be a much better route for me, it has history and crafty skills and so many things I enjoy. So we shall see. At least I have few days of work with Moonlight once I finish here, after that I will have to find something to do.

I really fail at this whole blog thing.

Well, I apologize that I have failed so royally at this. This summer was CRAZY. I didn't know I was capable of so much work or  half the things that I did at work. My time working for Moonlight Stage Productions was awesome. Trying and fun, it was a great learning experience, I now know a decent amount about lighting, I was a props runner, a spot op (which I hate, fyi) and a stage hand. It was a great season with great people and I'm so glad I was blessed with such an amazing opportunity. And that opportunity has opened the door for the next.
Beginning in January I will be a stage management intern at The Old Globe! I'm going to be working on a new musical based on the book A Room With A View.  I am going to be moving to San Diego and living with my grandparents which will be an adventure of it's own. I am so excited about this internship, but the reality is that it's only about 2 and a half months long and then I'm entirely jobless, but I know that God has that covered. I am also really genuinely excited to be living with my grandparents, I think it's going to be an amazing opportunity to get to know them. I am especially excited to get to know my Opa better, I fully intend to grill him about family history and create some kind of record.

Now that I finally have some down time I am going crazy catching up on all of my creative projects that had to be put aside, today I bought a giant (atrocious) painting in a great frame that will soon be my new headboard.

I've made bracelets
I've made paperbacks into hard covers

I've made earrings and purses and scarves and bookmarks and I've pretty much lost it and I love it. 

I'm so happy about so many areas of my life right now and it's very obvious to me that God really has a hand on what is happening in my life. 

For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases Him.

Philippians 2:13