Whoa, where did the time go?

The holidays are upon us with Halloween only a few days away and I just can't handle it! Slow down time, I need to take a breath and I need to get all of my materials ready for URTA!
URTA if you don't already know is the University/Resident Theatre Association, every year they host a huge event that I like to describe as speed dating for grad schools. Schools with graduate programs in theatre come and peruse your display and decide who they want to speak to, then you get a list of interviews and literally like speed dating sit there and talk to all these different schools -hopefully that is. So I have a whole portfolio to redo and a website to launch and applications to finish and schools to peruse. Oye!
Also on the horizon, quite literally, is hurricane sandy. It isn't supposed to really hit us but we are going to be affected. We may get SNOW! So exciting!

Inspiration in Ithaca

I really am growing to adore Ithaca. It's funky blend of metropolitan and rural, chic and dirty hippy, small town and big culture is quite appealing to me. I love the citywide emphasis on recycling and repurposing, and it fits in altogether too well with my seriously low budget lifestyle.

    I never thought I would say that it is a blessing to make so little money but in this instance it is. Even though my apartment and all of my utilities are paid for I still make so little that I qualify for foodstamps and that is a major blessing because regardless of my living situation my school loans still snag more than half my monthly salary as fast as I can earn it. So because my food is free as long as I eat at home, I have spawned a new love for cooking. I have always loved to bake but now the kitchen is my new hobby (as well as my new employer, the Kitchen Theatre :D). My roommates have no objections, seeing as I frequently get home before they get out of rehearsals they get to come home at least once or twice a week to dinner on the table, and I get to try my hand at whatever Pinterest recipes catch my eye. Cooking can easily be an expensive hobby, so I am feeling quite spoiled.

   I have also been diving into the free and bargain bins whenever I get a chance. One of my favorite new stores, Funky Junk, has a great trunk full of free "junk" which consists of small things they have picked up at estate sales that they know they can't move as regular merchandise in the store. I am more than happy to regularly take an arm load off of their hands and see what can become of it. Last weekend it resulted in this adorable skirt made from old curtains and some curtain ties replaced the sleeves on this adorable vintage blouse that I rescued from our artistic directors garage.

I have three or so other projects in the works and no sewing machine so LOTS of hand stitching being done around here! 

   The weather here has already changed, there is real fall here! The leaves are changing on the trees and it feels like I always imagined autumn would. It is really fueling my desire to heat up the oven and sit in our comfiest chair with a cup of tea and my needle and thread! Here is a glimpse of the trees from my apartment window, isn't it just so picturesque?

Living Vicariously

   Recently as I have been going on my many adventures, moving from this place to that, meeting new people, experiencing new things people have been asking me to keep them updated on my life through facebook, skype (aishinjumegan), instagram and this blog (which I update on occasion...) My family says to me, "Take more pictures, I want to feel like I am there!" And this has me thinking about living vicariously through another person.
   In the past, I have watched other people's facebook statuses and such and thought, 'Ugh, you are so lucky to get to (fill in blank with awesome activity here)." But recently, I haven't been felling that way. It's not that my friends aren't doing incredible things, they are -so many of them are jet setting around the world, working at their dream jobs, getting married, having kids, and living life abundantly. So, it's not that my friends are living hum drum lives, it is that I am finally really living mine. I have found that I can live vicariously through them without being sad about my own circumstances because I have finally stepped out. I no longer feel like Rapunzel wondering when my life will begin, I am living it and now when I look at my friends pictures and hear about what they are doing it is not a source of bitterness for me, but a source of joy. I can thank God that I am on my way down the path towards the extraordinary career that I have been created for and rejoice for my friends who are following their dreams.
   In my time of waiting for the next step in life I couldn't see how I could ever get to a place where I wasn't resentful of where I was and how everyone else seemed to be beyond me. Obviously I had no clue what God had in store for me, but there will always be something that is just beyond the horizon, something to be waiting for. So right now I am blogging about this as a reminder to myself for the next time that I am in the darkness before the dawn, just because you don't get what you want right when you want it or think you need it doesn't mean you won't ever get it, it just may be that you aren't ready for it yet and there is a time when you will need it more.

Ithaca: Week One

My first full week in Ithaca has come and gone, and so far I am in love! Ithaca is adorable and a very nice area. The theatre is small and intimate and the quality if work is fantastic. I live with two other interns and they are awesome. Liz is the stage management intern and Emily is the artistic intern, we are all similar focused on keeping things clean and tidy which is always nice. We live in adorable little apartment over a restaurant in the middle of downtown, it's about a 10 minute walk to the theatre. There is even an adorable brick wall in my room and I am getting all settled in. I haven't found a church yet but then again, I haven't had a chance to look.
I m getting more comfortable with my job and learning what exactly my duties are and some of the challenges I will be encountering. I am going to have a lot on my plate but everything will be great for my future and my career.
Honestly, I am missing my car and the autonomy my own vehicle provides. I occasionally feel a bit trapped, but on he other hand there isn't anywhere I have really needed to go so it's kind of silly, just something I'm accustomed to that I no longer have.
Overall, I think I'm going to like it here!

Big Announcement!

I have been so stinking busy recently I can't even begin to tell you all of it right now, nor does it really matter. What matters right now is my big announcement: I am moving! I have been offered a 10-ish month internship with Kitchen Theatre Company in Ithaca, NY. So I will be heading to Ithaca in about 2 weeks. GAHHHH!!! PANIC!!!!
Not really:) As of right now I am just really excited. I will be working as the Production Intern which means I will be doing carpentry + electrics + my true love props = a whole lot of work for not a lot of money. BUT, that is okay because the money doesn't really matter as long as I can eat and they provide housing so that is already taken care of.
This contract lasts til July 6, 2013, I get one day a week off, Thanksgiving day and December 24-29, so I will not be coming home at any point.  That is the one part that makes me sad, but that is also what Skype is for (THIS MEANS YOU, FRIENDS AND FAMILY!)
I will be home for a very brief time before I leave and hopefully I will get to see some people and I will definitely find time to see my family, cause I'm homesick as it is! But there is a lot to do. I have to sell my car (anyone looking for a great little '05 Hyundai Elantra with only like 61,500 mi? I'm hoping for $6,600) I have to pack and I have no idea what to bring because I've never ever lived anywhere with real weather! GUYS- I'm going to get seasons!
Yeah so I'm really excited, but I really need everybody's prayers, this is a huge move and pretty scary. It's going to be a real test of faith and it's going to be an amazing growing experience!

Decisions, decisions

So the sillier of the decisions I have had to make recently was just today, I spent about 20 minutes scrubbing paint from all over myself, trying to determine: paint, freckle, or scab? I was wrong quite a few times.
But more seriously, I got an email about a week ago from Ohio University asking me to make a decision and I have decided thank you, but no thank you for this year. It is a bittersweet decision, but I believe it is the right one. I had been asking them for clear numbers and deadlines for quite some time and they were not able to provide me with the clarity I needed and answers to questions, so I will take that as my cue that Ohio is not the place God has planned for me at the moment.
It was/is still a possibility that I may be offered a 9-month position here at PCPA, did I mention that before? Oh, yeah, that is supposedly a possibility, but they have to figure out their budgets and stuff and I sincerely doubt that it's going to happen. So, I am so glad that I at least have a show at Moonlight to fall back on if nothing else. Let the job hunt begin!

Week One, Already Done!

This is my first model next to
the design.

This week has flown right by! Unlike my Globe internship where I figured out pretty much within the first week that I didn't want to be a stage manager, I have been finding that I am increasingly more in love with this job. I got to practice a little welding on Tuesday, which would have gone better if it hadn't been so windy, and I have mainly ben working on building quite intricate small windows which we are making molds of so that we can cast a whole bunch of them, so I got to make my first ever mold! I have had a few run-ins with the sharp ends of my tools, but nothing a little super glue can't hold together : /. I am hoping that my second one comes out even better than the first, I am learning from my mistakes.

This is what the casting looks like,
one of 20 that will be made.

I haven't had any response to my questions that I sent to back to the University of Ohio yet, but I'm hoping that will come soon. I even went ahead and changed my FAFSA so they would have access to that information and hopefully that will give me some help. However, I did meet Emma, the Master Electrician for PCPA for the summer and 9-month intern, she is graduating from the school this year, she is A. awesome and B. a great advertisement for their program. She was telling me some pretty awesome stuff that just makes it more and more appealing. Also, one of the props artisans who hasn't arrived yet is currently attending Ohio University and on the same program I want to be a part of. I look forward to his arrival and the chance to pick his brain.

This is my second window,
still in progress.

I have been biking to and from work which adds up to about 7 miles a day and adjusting to new surroundings, a new bed, making all of my own meals, and working all day on stuff that requires tons of attention and focus, so I am TIRED! But in the best way, I am loving it. The only thing I am lacking is a church, so be praying with me about that and please keep praying for God's direction in regards to grad school.

"I am leaving you with a gift -peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift this world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid."                                                                    John 14:27

   

Jesus Take the Wheel

I know the phrase has been utterly destroyed and overused since Carrie Underwood wrote her well meaning song but it is the best way I can think of to describe how I'm feeling right now. Doors have been opening right and left for me recently and they line up really well with each other, and it seems too good to be true.
There is not a doubt in my mind that God can open doors and that he will do so with joy for those who are walking with him, but right now I'm really in shock over the doors that have swung open in front of me. If you haven't heard or guessed, I'm talking about Ohio University offering me a half ride scholarship. Let me explain why this is so crazy to me: first of all until the USITT conference at the end of March I only vaguely knew this school existed and almost nothing about it. I met Tom Fiocchi who is the head of the props program there while at USITT, he looked at my terrible portfolio and talked with me quite a bit about the school, props, theatre, and the philosophy of the program. I was sold, but of course it was already past the application deadlines and they had already extended their offers for the year. Well, I had to come back a second day for an interview (for the internship I start tomorrow) and miracle of miracles, the person they offered their aid to had decided to go somewhere else. Tom told me to email him my portfolio and he would see what they could do. We emailed a bit, but nothing...Friday afternoon rolls around and I had resigned myself to the fact it just wasn't going to happen and I get an email that practically knocks me over. A HALF RIDE? I didn't even actually apply or any of the things that you are supposed to do!!! So now I have to figure out if this is the path God has for me.
Here is something to consider though, I don't know if you believe in prophesy but I do, I have seen it come to fruition in my friends lives and my family's. Last year, a man named Ed Trout, who is highly regarded in my church as a man of God and a prophet spoke a word over my dad's life and mine, I literally just watched my dad's part come to fruition and this is what he told me God wanted to say to me,

"You're an amazing young lady, not finished with school I see, got little things dangling there and you're just not sure and God says, 'Finish! Get it done, you can do this, and I'll give you success."

That's pretty straight forward. So, maybe I need to get over my practical brain that is looking at my bank account and get on with it. He has a promised land for every one of us, maybe it is time for me to pack up my tent like Abraham and Sarah and set out for the land he has saved for me.

Next Step

    So, I leave this Saturday for my new internship. I was wrong, it is only a 3 month internship, the start date was later than I had originally understood which has consequently left me with a bit more (un-employed) time on my hands than I expected. Not only was I un-employed but my dad was as well and PRAISE THE LORD, he got a new job at the very end of last week. It was crazy, they literally called him at 4:56 pm and it was awesome! God has been so good to my family through this ordeal and I got to spend more time with my dad than I think I ever have in my whole life. And I got to babysit the two most awesome little people in the world Stella and Gunnar, my cousins Kelsey and Hauna's gorgeous kiddos. I do not know if I could love them any more, they are so precious to me.

Gunnar being awesome, eating dirt. 

I have also been keeping myself busy with a few, ok a lot, of projects. my recent kick has been baking, I have been baking up a storm, it has not been good for my waist line but my stomach is happy :). I have also been crafting away. In the past, people have joked about my mom and I that we do everything except cobble our own shoes, well...  I kinda made shoes. I'm not saying they are perfect by any means, but they are wearable and I think they are pretty cute and quite admirable for a first attempt.

Stella with her "callies" aka coloring.

I also made a dress for myself by salvaging the skirt off a dress that didn't fit any more and building a new bodice for it made from old jeans, and I used the old bodice to make a dress for Stella which totally doesn't fit, that's what I get for not using any kind of size reference. But maybe it won't be a total loss because Hauna and Nathan are expecting baby #2, gender TBA. WOOT!

I've made a couple other things, done some alterations on some clothes, seriously done a lot of baking and cooking, but it hasn't all been for fun. I undertook most of these projects to improve on skills that may come in handy at my internship, sewing, leather working, baking, sculpting, paper mache are all important skills for a props artisan.

I don't know what all this internship will entail, I don't know how much I will be working, I don't know who I will be working with, all I know for certain is that God opened the door for a reason and my real job is to walk through it and trust that he has something special planned for me. 

Commit everything to the LoRD. Trust him and he will help you.

Psalm 37:5

Step 1. Get the Job

CHECK.
Well, it's not really a job, it's an internship -BUT- it is an internship with a pretty decent stipend and that is pretty darn close to a real grown up job.

The Pacific Conservatory of the Performing Arts has offered me a four month internship, which is a fantastic opportunity for me. But, it also requires me to move to Santa Maria for four months, where I will probably be renting a room and having to actually be entirely accountable for myself for the first time in my life. BIG STEPS HERE PEOPLE! I'm a little petrified, and I think that is why I'm not more excited about it. I'm afraid I won't have the skills I need and all these little things, but the reality is that I'm not supposed to be perfect, I'm just supposed to be willing to learn that is why it is an internship!

So, now I have a little over a month left at home and I am resolved to enjoy it and all the people that I will miss like crazy while I'm gone. Who knows where this will lead, maybe I will get another job (or maybe the Steppenwolf Apprenticeship...) and I won't be back. This is an exciting and terrifying time of growth and change, I'm thinking it's time to lean harder on God than ever before.

Just around the river bend

I wish that I had the excitement and enthusiasm that Pocahontas quote brings to mind, but quite frankly I don't. My internship has been done for almost 3 weeks now and I'm back at home, my work at Moonlight is done and I am without occupation. I have these glimmers of hope on the horizon, but none of them is anything certain. I had an awesome interview at the La Jolla Playhouse the week after my internship ended, but unfortunately they know they won't have anything for me at all until at June at best and even then, that is uncertain. I got an email to set up an interview with the Steppenwolf Theatre Company in Chicago for a nine month apprenticeship, but it's not until the 9th and I'm still pretty much in shock to have heard from them at all. I thought I would be able to keep myself content by applying for other production assistant jobs that I had seen listed but they all seem to have been filled (please people, take down the listing if you are no longer hiring). I thought that it would be a nice time to try the whole Etsy thing again but I just can't seem to get any kind of creative juices flowing beyond my Pinterest boards. I feel like I'm in this huge holding pattern filled with maybe's and I am not coping well. I just need one "yes", just a little encouragement that I'm not wasting my time with applications and making trinkets.  I just don't want to have to get a job just for the sake of having a job, but quite frankly I would take one of those at this point.
    I'm starting to feel a little crazy, like I imagined it all and I'm not actually going to get anywhere in this industry, but I refuse to believe it. I will continue meditating on Psalms 94:19, ""When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer." and remember what the Cheshire Cat said to Alice.

"Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?"

                  "That depends a good deal on where you want to get to," said the Cat.

"I don’t much care where" said Alice.

"Then it doesn’t matter which way you go," said the Cat."

"-so long as I get SOMEWHERE," Alice added as an explanation.

"Oh, you’re sure to do that," said the Cat, "if you only walk long enough."

Only, this Alice has figured out where she wants to be. Unfortunately, the road is still just as murky and confusing. 

Moving On

So I'm not going to waste my time apologizing for not having written anything in forever, cause at this point we all know that I fail at this. SO ANYHOW... I'm in the last few days of my internship at the Old Globe. I took this internship to see if stage management was a good path for me and I have found that the answer is a resounding "no." I have the utmost respect and appreciation for stage managers, but I am not cut out to be one. I never did learn to whisper, I'm terrible at being quiet, there is a TON of paperwork and nothing very creative. My mantra for this internship became, "Your opinion is irrelevant, your opinion is irrelevant." I can't do that my whole life!
   I don't mean to say that I didn't enjoy this internship, I did. I made a fantastic new friend, my fellow intern Danielle, and without her I think I would have been utterly miserable. There were some other great parts, some wonderful people, and lots to learn, but overall this isn't the path for me. Hence, I have 4 or 5 applications out for different properties internship programs and I will hopefully hear back from some of them soon. If not, I will figure something out but that is what I'm hoping for at the moment. I think that props will be a much better route for me, it has history and crafty skills and so many things I enjoy. So we shall see. At least I have few days of work with Moonlight once I finish here, after that I will have to find something to do.